Monthly Archives: September 2011

I’ve Got My Eyes On You

I believe everybody, particularly if you’ve been closely involved in a youth or other church group, has that person or two they look up to and aspire to learn from.  Tell me if it’s just me but I think our brains are programmed towards this ‘Love at First Sight’ ordeal.  Do you believe in love at first sight?  I personally don’t but I do think when we see the right friend or significant other it clicks.  You don’t fall in love or become best friends with someone overnight, but we have our sight set and begin drawing ourselves in, opening the door.

Like any other relationship, friendships take trust and humiliation.  When the buzzer goes off we just know that it’s the right person.  We then spend so much time wondering if they also want to be friends with us and we stress over whether of not we should open up to them.

I typically sit around and wait for them to open up to me, being ignorant to the fact that that’s not the way it works.  I’ve learned that sometimes you have to be the first one to throw yourself out there.  Some people may be scared of commitments and this can make it difficult to open up and share with one another because it’s such a strong two way road.  Although not always successful, you can be sure to grow yourself as well as possibly with someone else in the long run.

On the other side of things I’ve also realized that just as we keep our eyes on others, it works the same way back at us.  I’ve learned to always keep my eyes open as there may be others out there willing to open up to me and confide with.  Accountability is such a strong force it can not be matched.  Basically what I’m trying to say is keep your eyes open, open up to others, and be willing to be used in turn for others.

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When love tears you apart.

You’ve been trying to help your friend out of a pit that they have been stuck in but they’ve become resistant.  They can’t see the trouble they’ve gotten themselves and others into and don’t know what’s best for them.  You either have to make it clear that you don’t agree with their decisions, and possibly loose them, or back off and let them learn by themselves.  What do you do?  This is how I learned that if you love something, you really do have to let it go.

Step back a couple months and I’ve got the perfect little life.  I have a job,  car, better friends than I could ask for, and a bright positive future that’s about to be altered more than I had maybe imagined.  The thought of college was beautiful but I didn’t realize all the things that would happen leading up to the move.  I love college, don’t get me wrong, but the series of events was quite… unfortunate.

I had lost friends throughout my path of eighteen years but had yet to loose someone that was once so close to me.  Our friendship didn’t last over half a year but it’s crazy how much you can learn about and grow with somebody.  When faced with the decision to either help or let be, I chose to help – or so I thought.

It’s crazy how different looking from the outside in things can be.  I could see the problem, it needed to be fixed, and I tried to help only to be chewed up and spit out.  One might say you should mind your own business but is this how we should behave toward friends?  Should we watch them fall regardless of what they tripped on or should we stand up and carry them through it.

Long story short, and also painful, I’ve learned that above all it’s important to do what is right.  It’s important to stand up to your friends and tell them what you really want to say.  You shouldn’t hold back, or let loose as that just leaves room for wrong.  I’ve seen friendships fall apart and relationships crumble.  Standing beside the pile of ashes I see the bigger picture.  There’s no resurrection here, no gluing the picture back together, but there is love; love with no bounds nor mercy.  If you truly love something, you’d rather let it go than stand and watch.

It’s been so long.

I’m nearing a month into school and all I can say is wow, I couldn’t ask for a more perfect place to be right now. I’ve already made some great friends and learned a lot about living on my own. School can be overwhelming but I still haven’t gone a day without seeing how beautiful life really is. Managing my schedule may get a bit frustrating but I love having the power to control my do’s and don’ts.

I bought a hammock soon after moving in to school and I can’t even describe in words how much that purchase was worth.  Every day I lay in it the day seems more perfect than the one before.  It never ceases to amaze me the awe of nature.  Overcast days show the perfect glimpse of winter and the sweltering heat is like a new breath of life.  There’s no better way to just relax and think about life than this.

Labor day weekend I went home, of course, and I expected to just sit around and be bored but that was certainly not what happened.  I ended up meeting with various friends throughout the weekend and I couldn’t ask for a better time.  It was actually awesome seeing people again and it made me realize how much I really miss them.  Although I love it where I am, it was nice to see everyone going about their lives, in a good way, and seeing their change.

In conclusion, if you’re a fellow college student I hope you’re enjoying your new place as much as I and that you remember to keep in contact with those you ‘left behind.’  As for everybody else, sorry it’s been so long!  I could have sworn I posted something last week but it seems that’s a lie.  I’ll try to be a bit more present now that I’m settled in.