When Friends Drift Apart

Have you ever been good friends with someone and as time passes you seem to drift apart or it feels as though they are pulling away? Most friendships aren’t meant to last forever but it can still be frustrating when you can see the end closer than you had once hoped. When faced with this dilemma, I find myself contemplating whether they have purposefully abandoned me, or if it was a sheer accident. For a long time I almost wanted them to have simply forgotten about me in the rush of life and all it’s complexities, rather than purposefully ditching me. I have now realized that I should look at it in exactly the opposite light.

People like to feel wanted, and obviously don’t like being left out or purposefully abandoned, but after you actually step back and look at the two paths, you can see what I finally saw. When one is purposefully avoided, abandoned, and ditched, it takes a good deal of work from the x-friend. They now have to replace you with someone else, and start from square one in a fresh relationship. On the other hand when someone forgets about you and you feel as though drifting is happening between you, they have already made countless unconcsious decisions that they no longer need you, and they probably already have other people in their life that have completely replaced you (hence why they forgot about you). They haven’t taken the time to realize how much they mean to you, and are just fixated on the fact that they no longer need you – you’re like an old Tupperware container thrown in the garbage after adequate use. These types of people hop from friend to friend looking for a thrill and something new. Not a very good investment of your time and energy.

Now what do you think: Would you rather be ditched, or forgotten?


5 responses to “When Friends Drift Apart

  1. I’d choose ditched over forgotten, if I had to choose. If not, I’d go for neither. However, one of my friendships is starting off in the forgotten direction after 9 years. I know that Tupperware feeling all to well.

  2. Yeah – I grew really close to one of my friends all too quick and now we’ve pretty much fallen out completely.

  3. I would choose to be ditched. When I create friendships in which I give my whole heart to that person, I don’t ever want to be forgotten by them.

  4. Pingback: Wandering Minds | I'm bored, dude!

  5. I’d rather be ditched. At least i’ll get over it knowing the other person has no feelings and i’ll abandon mine. But being forgotten is hurting and when you love someone, it’s even worse to find out you’ve been forgotten

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