Hanging out with a girl that you’re not in a relationship with can be complicated, and sometimes even awkward. When one of you are in a relationship it can even come off as fishy to a third party, especially when the girl’s boyfriend happens to be your best friend. There are many things that I think are important in a friendship, one of the major ones being trust. Now, if we switched viewpoints and I was the girl’s boyfriend and he was hanging out with her, I guess I can’t blame him for this, but friends, not to mention best friends, should be able trust each other with and for anything. This got me thinking enough to make me write this post.
I can see why I wouldn’t want my girlfriend hanging out with a friend of mine, and I think the main reasons for that are simply because I don’t know what they’re talking about (likely about me) and perhaps I’d be a bit envious because I’m not there to hang out with her instead. What should you do when you’re friends with someone, and don’t want to hurt another friendship, but don’t want to abandon this one either? Whose right, and whose wrong? I began to see flaws in both of our views and no real way to fix the problem. After a long period of reflecting on both points of view I came to a conclusion.
I decided that neither of us were right, and pin-pointed the grey area. I could see that he was amiss for not wanting us to hang out, because he clearly wasn’t trusting at least one of us and didn’t respect the fact that we’re friends regardless of their relationship. I could also see that if I’d continued what I was doing, hanging out with her, then I’m just pushing his boundaries and tearing our relationship apart rather than building it up since I now know how he feels about everything. I haven’t found a good compromise for this and I’m not sure if that would suffice either. The word compromise is to basically find a settlement where both parties feel ‘discomfort’ and really leaves no one overly happy.
Since I value trust more than anything I guess you could say I plan on continuing going about things how I always have and see where the path takes me. Perhaps, but hopefully not, I’ll end up at a rough patch; but in the end I’ll simply come out stronger than before. If you have any suggestions or comments feel free to leave them below – thanks!