I’m not sure if I sound like a girl here in the post but I just need to get some stuff out there, ‘food for thought’ I suppose? It’s probably going to be really long but if you do happen to get through it and give me some feedback that’d be pretty cool. So my best friend happens to be a girl (not that it matters, right?) and we’ve known each other pretty well for the past 2 years. It started out that she was a friend of a future girlfriend and as different events passed she became my closest friend. I relied on her to be able to talk to her about problems with girls (various ones) and such. She was my inside girl that helped me realize what girls were thinking and she was always there for me when I needed her. She later started liking me and I had to tell her no because there was no way I was going to give up her friendship for a relationship. I just couldn’t risk it.
We’ve always texted since our relationship started so when she moved to college last year it really wasn’t a big deal since I didn’t regularly do anything with her in person anyways. Just recently I’ve complained a few times and she’s been asking how long I think my relationship with my girlfriend will last since it’s obviously going pretty rough at the moment. I told her I didn’t know and didn’t think it would last much longer because I just don’t feel anything.
Recently on new years I was with some people that she’s also friends with and one of them started asking me if I was going to break up with my girlfriend. They can probably see for themselves that it isn’t going all that great but I was kind of confused as to where they had heard this from. One of them kind of murmured that they had heard that I complain about it and since my friend is the only person I’ve ever really told it kind of scares me.
I’ve started to believe that she must have told one of them and it seriously makes me lose a lot of trust in her. For me, trust is key. I don’t have many close friends and I give trust openly it’s just that I make sure I get to know someone well before I do and I just haven’t done that much. I don’t know where to go from here and I’m not sure if I should blame her or what. It’s been so long and this is the first problem I’ve ever hit with her and it just doesn’t sit right. I don’t want to loose my friend but I can’t keep talking to her as if I don’t care because I do. Half of me wants to just go cold turkey and stop texting her for forever but part of me wants to get to the bottom of things. I know y’all are probably thinking ‘just text her and ask if she said anything’ but I just think that might turn out a little weird. Then the other half says if you’re that close then you don’t have anything to loose because she should tell you. But if she says she didn’t and I find out she did.. or still suspect she did, then what? If you made it through that wall of text then any feedback would be great. Even a hey would be cool.