Trust – to commit or consign with trust or confidence.

I’m not sure if I sound like a girl here in the post but I just need to get some stuff out there, ‘food for thought’ I suppose? It’s probably going to be really long but if you do happen to get through it and give me some feedback that’d be pretty cool. So my best friend happens to be a girl (not that it matters, right?) and we’ve known each other pretty well for the past 2 years.  It started out that she was a friend of a future girlfriend and as different events passed she became my closest friend.  I relied on her to be able to talk to her about problems with girls (various ones) and such.  She was my inside girl that helped me realize what girls were thinking and she was always there for me when I needed her. She later started liking me and I had to tell her no because there was no way I was going to give up her friendship for a relationship.  I just couldn’t risk it.

We’ve always texted since our relationship started so when she moved to college last year it really wasn’t a big deal since I didn’t regularly do anything with her in person anyways.  Just recently I’ve complained a few times and she’s been asking how long I think my relationship with my girlfriend will last since it’s obviously going pretty rough at the moment.  I told her I didn’t know and didn’t think it would last much longer because I just don’t feel anything.

Recently on new years I was with some people that she’s also friends with and one of them started asking me if I was going to break up with my girlfriend.  They can probably see for themselves that it isn’t going all that great but I was kind of confused as to where they had heard this from.  One of them kind of murmured that they had heard that I complain about it and since my friend is the only person I’ve ever really told it kind of scares me.

I’ve started to believe that she must have told one of them and it seriously makes me lose a lot of trust in her.  For me, trust is key.  I don’t have many close friends and I give trust openly it’s just that I make sure I get to know someone well before I do and I just haven’t done that much.  I don’t know where to go from here and I’m not sure if I should blame her or what.  It’s been so long and this is the first problem I’ve ever hit with her and it just doesn’t sit right.  I don’t want to loose my friend but I can’t keep talking to her as if I don’t care because I do.  Half of me wants to just go cold turkey and stop texting her for forever but part of me wants to get to the bottom of things. I know y’all are probably thinking ‘just text her and ask if she said anything’ but I just think that might turn out a little weird.  Then the other half says if you’re that close then you don’t have anything to loose because she should tell you.  But if she says she didn’t and I find out she did.. or still suspect she did, then what?  If you made it through that wall of text then any feedback would be great. Even a hey would be cool.

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7 responses to “Trust – to commit or consign with trust or confidence.

  1. She’s a girl, and she obviously likes you, she said so herself right? Just like you need her to talk about all those issues you have with your girlfriend, or ex’s, she needs someone to talk to about her feelings for you, and you’re practically not option to choose from. We’re all like that, if we can’t talk to a certain someone about a certain something, then we run to another friend who’d care. Telling others about your rocky relationship with your current girlfriend may not have been just a gossip topic to her, the things you tell people just because it’s juicy. She might have had seen it as an indication of hope, and relayed the same to her friend.
    It may sound a bit selfish, but it is a hypothesis. I’m thinking she may not have meant any harm, or that she’s completely unaware that its wrong, so just save her the benefit of a doubt. After all, if she’s done all those good things for you, isn’t it a good indication that she’s someone worth keeping? 😀

  2. Good point, I never really thought of that fact.. probably because she’s obsessed with another guy at the moment and tells me all about it, lol. But I think you could be right. I messaged her because I couldn’t stop thinking about it and she seemed like she had no idea how she found out and offered to investigate and ask questions. I told her she was the only one I told and that if she did tell anyone she could tell me (because confession=clean to me). She told me she told her best friend, another girl, but that she’s not the type to go around and tell everyone which I’d have to agree with because she is also my friend (yes, it IS a small world). So in the end idk how she found out but I think life can go on as before because I’ve come to the realization that it’s not really that big of a deal because in a week or two this will all blow over and we’ll all just sit back and laugh that I had freaked out about this. Thanks for the input 🙂

  3. If you’re friends with both of these girls, and if the one likes you, then it’s not so out of the norm for her to talk about you to your mutual friend. I know this from experience :p
    If there’s something that you don’t want her to talk to anybody about, you should probably let her know. Either way I don’t think that you should let this ruin what seems like a good relationship.

  4. I won’t. I know y’all are saying I should let her know that she shouldn’t tell anyone but she already knows that, that’s the point of our relationship. None the less I’m gonna let it blow over. Everything will be fine in a few days 🙂 .

  5. You should know this about having a girl as a best friend; we think we can be the judge of whether conversations should be kept secret or not. While being the judge, we often ignore that we know that yóu would rather have us not talking about certain stuff. We think we know better than you guys if sharing certain info is harmful or not. However, if your best friend really cán be trusted, all you need to do is explicitly say ‘I really don’t want you to tell this to anyone’. That ought to mean more to her than her own judgement ( :

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  7. Pingback: I’ve Got My Eyes On You | I'm bored, dude!

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